I've saturated myself with music to the point that listening to it virtually creates an alternate reality for me. Music invokes the idyllic, dreams and archetypes. Basically, the unreachable. It rears its head in movies and the worry-free environment of headphones.

Reality, on the other hand is cold and ugly. There is no emotional sugar-coating, only a mixture of pain, triteness, worry, and death. The good that appears in real life comes from human interaction and communion with God; both are marred by sin and usually consist of many couplings of mistakes and resolutions (or lack of resolution).

Musical saturation mixes these two world views, bringing a yearning for perfection in this fallen world (i.e. the impossible). It makes day-to-day life that much more difficult, not to mention disappointing. Being a musician while living a life of saturation is even harder: any music I create seems to fall short of the mark. Is it due to my skill level and the quality of what I create, or is it due to this concept of the unattainable that has overtaken me?

Sweet silence. In it (how much more!) is God.

Words and pictures copyright slav2emoshns