I am so SICK of being selfish. It's one of those subtle sins that's extremely sinister but not necessarily obvious. What double standards I have when I offer a brother a ride to church if he has no car, but then when he asks for several weeks out of genuine need, I weasel my way out of it. Or when I ask for a ride into the city for fear of having my car broken into or stolen, but at the same time putting the car of whomever's shuttling me at that same risk (who's serving Mammon now?). Or knowing the needs of a brother and stubbornly demanding to myself that instead he operate on my terms (what happened to servitude?). Or not being there in an emergency. How are these things love?

But this time is different. Praise God! I have spent weeks away from Him, to be strangely convicted and uplifted at the same time tonight. I've spent these weeks in legalism and being downtrodden, only to find that both result in more death, not the so desperately needed freedom from my sins. It's when we're encouraged that we find life. Jesus frees us! False pretenses of humility ("I don't deserve Him.") and wallowing in oppression (not accepting the release of Christ) lead only to repeated sin and longer chains.

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