Warning: Candid stuff follows. It may not be pretty, but it's true and may be true for others.
Girls have no idea what kind of power they have over me. Any girl I consider to have outward beauty drives me nuts. I'm so ashamed of my superficiality. Forgive me any girls who read this. I get all weird and try to act cool, and I end up looking like a dork. Don't try to impress anyone; if you need to be cooler than your current state for anyone, it's not going to work out anyway.
It's so wrong to entertain attraction, but it's so hard not to. This week I was on a mission trip and a girl from my church was there who's pretty was there. There is no way anything could develop between us; we're not spiritually in the same place. Still, I couldn't keep feelings of attraction away. It tore at me all week. I wanted the feelings to leave, but I was powerless against them. It became such a stumbling block that I tried not to even look at her, but that only brought more temptation on.
Girls, watch your skin. It's the biggest thing that trips up guys. Short shorts and low-cut tops are not good. Unfortunately most guys like that kind of dress. Heck, we all like it deep down in our most primal animal instincts, but any guy who is a worthwhile comrade will see that is only shallow hormonal attraction. Those of us who want a real relationship will falter and hit the ground. It hurts.
Soapbox: I beg everyone to see the evidence of our male-dominated culture. Female equality is still nonexistant. Fashion is a great example. Clothes for girls are gradually disappearing, while clothes for guys are increasing. Guys are baggy; girls have spaghetti straps and very short shorts. Is anybody else seeing this? Girls, respect yourself and rebel against this stupid trend. Buy yourselves some t-shirts and jeans. :)
Maybe that last paragraph was a little harsh, but I think we all could use a little more looking out for our brothers and sisters, and being more sensitive to their needs. It's a two-sided thing. This world is too selfish. Resist the commercialism of our capitalist society. Live not for yourself, but serve others. It's not how much you have, but your relationship with God that matters. I beg everyone to re-evaluate their lives constantly, and watch what you wear. Decency over fashion.
Beauty:
A voice like angels.
Eyes of glass gaze deep into my soul,
Accompanied by a smile that would melt a heart of coldest stone.
Infatuation:
Fleeting glimpses stolen.
Temptation burns inside,
So wrong,
Not right.
Confusion:
Heart torn.
Conscience and Holy Spirit pull
Away from emotions,
Toward safety.
Fall:
The concrete prevails.
Just another glance, can't get enough.
Beauty so strong, flesh so weak.
Failure results.
God bring me strength to overcome
Next time.
I'm really sorry if anything above comes off as judgmental. I'm just having a huge problem with this at this point, and I think others do, and it goes unnoticed a lot. Thanks for understanding.