Last night at church, our pastor mentioned how, though God has many great things for us, we mess up His plans so much by taking what He wants and trying to do it ourselves. This is so true; I've seen it in my own life all too often. How often do we completely destroy something meant for our growth--planned by God and given to us at the right time--when we decide we know where He's taking us, we subsequently go in that "correct" direction, and finally end up as far away as possible from His original intention?
I love music. I want to write music. I want the lyrics that I write to point to Jesus. I want the music to complement the lyrics as much as possible so that they may meticulously craft the emotion expressed by the words, connecting the listener with an amazing experience. Unfortunately, the material that comes out of my head both musically and lyrically is often sub-par. Now, I know there are such things as dry spells, etc., but it's like I'm stuck in this unoriginal rut for the longest time; I literally feel trapped in a creative box. I do believe this is because I'm not submitting myself to Jesus enough.
So many people (like my dad) would say that's preposterous. I would've said that maybe a year or two ago. I'm learning to let go, though. There's a balance between testing spirits and doubting God's direction, and I'm working on finding that balance (hint: it must come from God; it's not a self-drawn line). A relationship with Jesus is both the hardest thing and the easiest thing in my life.
There's this site whose motto is "The Creative Submitted to the Divine." That's what I'm aiming for. When Jesus increases and I decrease and He directs me in all my ways, that's when the music and lyrics that'll come from me will be sincere and great to hear; they won't be from me, but from Him. By letting go of my desire to have a handle on every part of my life and control it all, I'll give Him more control and I'll grow in Him. It's an amazing and beautiful thing, and I pray that He brings change quickly and I move my stubborn self.